


Position vacancy: God

by Zoya113



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid, Nightmare Time - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, Some very vague references to the other dolls but no real spoilers, a bit scary at points, mostly humerous, sof and Danny make fnaf jokes a lot, this is literally shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoya113/pseuds/Zoya113
Summary: Since Blinky isn’t around to play the god of Watcherworld anymore, somebody has to take the job
Relationships: Alice Woodward/ Deb
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Position vacancy: God

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u to LetmepukeinyourmouthEm_ for bouncing these silly ideas around with me ily

“You can’t submit a resume to a manager position,” Deb pointed out, looking over Sof’s shoulder at the library computer. 

“Hey, it’ll get job seeker off my back though,” Sof stuck out her tongue, biting on it as she concentrated, scanning the webpage.

‘WatcherWorld Theme Park - Position Vacancy’ 

She knew they wouldn’t technically accept her scarce resume because she had never been employed anywhere before and she was only just eighteen, but it was an amusement park of all places, and that must be fun. That was like, her dream job. She couldn’t imagine being stuck in retail or hospitality. The idea bored her half to death. 

“Yeah but why not hand it in to like, Beanies or Starbucks or something?” Deb inquired. 

“Because, they need a manager and I need a job. We are very compatible,” Sof tapped the screen as she submitted her resume. It was all a joke, but it would show up as proof she wasn’t wasting her monthly stipend and was at least attempting to get a job. 

“Y’know I hear they’re saying it’s because the boss at Watcherworld died,” Deb glanced over at Alice who was actually doing her work at the computer next to them. “What do you think of that, hun?” 

Alice gave Deb a bit of an exhausted look, clinging onto her arm. “I don’t wanna talk about WatcherWorld.”

“He was killed so I could replace him,” she wiped her hands of the business and Deb smacked her arm. “Destiny.”

“Insensitive. That was a real human man who died.” 

“Yeah, a ‘real human man’ runs watcherworld,” Alice mumbled into Deb’s arm.

“Well soon a real human child is gonna run Watcherworld,” Sof joked, continuing to scan through the jobs available. “Hehe, I’m gonna rename it Sof world.”

“Shut up,” Deb thwacked her with her notebook. “I’m never going to your shitty amusement park you don’t even know what OH&S is.”

“It sounds like a fruit juice company,” Sof shrugged, about to turn the computer off for the day when a notification went off from her email. “Holy shit, it’s Watcherworld, cannot believe I’m hired already,” she teased the two girls besides her. “This is way cooler than Danny’s shitty seven eleven job lol.”

“Why’d you just say ‘lol’ in real life?” Alice frowned, she hadn’t been in a good mood since Watcherworld was brought up, and was leaning into the hand Deb was stroking through her hair.

“Because it makes me laugh, and my comedy is only for me, Alice. Also you can’t talk to me like that, I own a business now.”

“A manager and an owner are two different things,” Alice murmured back, still nuzzling Deb’s shoulder. 

“You don’t have the job, it’s an automated message telling you to piss off because you don’t even have a drivers license,” Deb rolled her eyes with a mocking laugh. “Sof, you don’t even know your social security number.”

“Sounds like you’re just trying to get me to leak my social security number, Deb,” she retorted, opening the email. She skimmed straight to the bottom of course, because she wasn’t going to waste her own time, except she was caught off guard by the ‘hoping to hear from you soon!’ At the bottom of the email, forcing her to try and read it faster than her eyes could follow along. “They want an interview!” She reported through hissed breath, smacking Deb’s shoulder. 

“Piss off!” Deb leant on her chair to try and read it over Sof’s shoulder in disbelief. “Watcherworld does not want an interview! You’re just saying that!” 

Except she wasn’t, it was right there in the email. “Hah! They probably didn’t even read your email! What’re you gonna do when you show up?” 

“I’m gonna go!” She declared. “I don’t care, it’ll be good fun! Just don’t tell Danny!” 

“What’re you gonna do at the interview!?” Deb was at a state of laughter where she wasn’t actually making sound anymore, just whispering very loudly. “Card tricks?” She got her voice back just to laugh in Sof’s face.

“Hey, I’ve guessed your card like six out of ten time. It’s impressive! It’s perfect for an amusement park they’ll eat that shit up!” She teased, although she hadn’t taken a moment to actually consider what this meant though, she was just revising her card tricks in her head. 

“You’re gonna go to an interview for an amusement park? When they know you’re eighteen?” Alice shook her head. “That sounds like, uh, I dunno, a scam, Sof,” she was rubbing her hands down her sweater anxiously. “I don’t know if you should go.” 

“What, do you think the manager isn’t really dead?” Sof jeered. “Well he will be if he isn’t already,” she cracked her knuckles in a fake threat. “He better not be getting my hopes up by being alive.”

“I don’t think you should go to Watcherworld, Sof, seriously. Deb, doesn’t that sound sketchy?” Alice tried to bring her into it, shooting her a look Sof didn’t understand. 

Deb bit down on her lip understandingly, turning back to Sof, her jovial expression vanished. “Yeah, you know it is kinda weird. They replied so quickly, it’s either automated or it’s suspicious. They won’t give you the job man, maybe skip this one.”

“You guys are just jealous that I’m gonna be the new manager. I’m gonna impress them with my card tricks, and I’m gonna get the job!” She declared, still joking. Of course she wasn’t, but this was really god damn funny. 

“Sofa,” Alice groaned, watching her pack up her things to leave the library. “Seriously, you better be kidding.”

“yeah, yeah, I’m kidding! Of course I’m kidding. I’m not an idiot, I’m not actually gonna go to that defunct place,” she waved a hand to brush Alice’s complaints off.

“That’s a big word, Sof. Just don’t go to Watcherworld.” 

“Thanks, I learnt it in English, Deb. It’s fine, I won’t go to Watcherworld.”

———————————————————

‘Good evening girl I’m at Watcherworld hahahahah lol’ She chuckled to herself as she sent it, still thinking the dedication to her joke was indeed quite funny. To her, anyways. At least she could say she came and she saw. She had never actually been here before. The prices were ridiculously steep and it bothered her she had to pay to get in for her own interview.

‘Sof you u dumbass’ Deb replied. ‘Are u safe?’ 

‘Yeah lol there are people here I’m not gonna get shanked or anything even that nerdy kid from school is here lol. I’m gonna be his future boss hehehehe >:)’ she shot the teen a wide toothed grin as she walked by him, hoping to at least frighten him. 

‘Stop joking abt it but don’t get mugged please’

‘If anyone tries to mug me I will mug them back no worries xxx’ not that she had anything even resembling a weapon on her. She just had a gut feeling her fists would be fine. She jabbed a punch at the air to test it out before tucking her phone away. She exchanged it for the handful of cards she kept in there to fiddle with.

The park was relatively empty, but she suspected as much. She was hoping to run into a staff member or a guide on her way around but the only people she passed were a bickering family and their crying child. Where was everyone? No way was she asking that teen back there for directions. He was dumb, and Sof didn’t like him.

The email had mentioned the meeting point was in the office attached to the back of the mirror maze, but there wasn’t much activity around there it seemed.

It was just empty. 

“Jeez.” Maybe she was getting anxious, she was pretty chilled out on her way here and she had no issues with meeting strangers or presenting for an interview, but her fuse was short and it was starting to tick her off that there was just no body around to help.

The door had a heavy duty lock on it and it was too dark to see through the windows, or perhaps they were blacked out. She knocked at first, but felt like an idiot standing there and waiting. She knocked again. “Hello?” Was there anybody working at this park? No wonder they needed a manager. Not that she had to be this busy chasing down an interview she wouldn’t get.

She leant up to one of them, cupping her hands to the glass to try and look through.   
Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her, but there seemed to be a funny shape laying in the centre of the floor. 

God, the place looked abandoned. It probably was all a joke. 

“Excuse me?” 

Sof jumped back from the window as a small voice spoke up behind her. “Hey! Hi! Sorry! Do you work here?” She could’ve assumed from the funny, purple costume the girl was wearing. It matched the theme of the amusement park although Sof had no clue what sort of creature the outfit was supposed to mimic. 

“Are you the new manager?” The girl tilted her head, staring at Sof with wide eyes like they were the child here and not her. 

“Oh uh, I came for an interview but I just think it’s a joke,” she straightened up, trying to remain at least a little bit professional for once. The shuffling of cards in her hands was probably a give away of her nerves though. “It was just a joke, right?” She wasn’t impressed, though. 

“Ohh, so you were the one who signed up!” The girl was watching her card shuffling intently, her eyes following the cards. “Our old boss could never do that- forgive me for staring I’ve just-“ her jaw was open. 

Whatever happened now at least she could tell Deb the card tricks were successful. “Oh yeah, pretty cool right? Hey, watch this.” She flicked them from one hand to her open palm, but they all fell down to the floor. “Shit.” She leant down to pick them back up. “Never mind.” She hates it here.

“Oh wow, wow, I’ve never seen anyone do that!” She exclaimed. 

“What, really?” Maybe she was younger than Sof thought. “Yeah you just put the card between your top finger and your thumb and- oh, you don’t have thumbs. Yeah, you probably can’t do it in a costume.” 

The girl looked down to her furry, purple paws. “This isn’t a costume ma’am! Oh, I don’t mean to talk back to you it’s just the truth!” 

“Hahah, this is a weird ass prank man. Did Danny hold you up to this? Deb?” She tucked her cards back into her pocket. “This is literally the weirdest prank ever, man. What’s the deal?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, we aren’t playing a joke, we promise!” She dipped her head humbly like she genuinely did want to apologise for the inconvenience.

“Oh man, you are dedicated to staying in character. It’s okay though, I’m not a seven year old I’m in my senior year. You are not getting paid enough for this,” she rolled her eyes. The costume was cheap. The faux fur material was patchy and lacked a gloss and what was she trying to prove here anyway? Of course they were costumes. Furry, semi bird-human things did not exist in real life anyways. She didn’t know why she was losing her temper over that discovery.

“Oh well we don’t get paid anything at all, we can’t even leave the premises’,” she answered with a hesitant and small shake of her head, raising one brow. 

“Wow! You guys need a raise,” she snorted a little harshly, genuinely impressed at her effort. “Or a union.” Even if that was part of the fictional character lore they were sticking to that sort of sucked. 

“Well you’re the manager, Sofia, so that would be you,” she tapped her paws together, a hint of fear lingering in her expression.

“Ooh,” she trailed off. “Yes, my name is Sofia. Absolutely.” This was getting weirder by the minute. If this was a set up, it was a bit half baked not to give them her real name if they were going for the creepy, psychic child vibe. “I’m not the manager though, I mean I wasn’t even expecting an interview, honestly. I genuinely have like, no qualifications.” She couldn’t even do her card tricks and that was all she had planned. “Except my cats tricks and, like,” she shook her head.

“But you signed up, Sofia, for the job. Would you like to meet our old boss?” 

Sof gagged. “Is that a threat?” Didn’t he die or something? 

But she didn’t answer, she was focused on unlocking the padlock on the office door. “He’s been waiting for you.” She glanced back at Sof, her wide eyes were still unblinking.

“Hah!” She slapped her arm, crossing them over her stomach. “Look, I did it as a joke, I’m really not qualified to...” she stopped as the girl heaved open the back office door, holding it open and dipping her head. “Oh, top ten photos taken seconds before disaster,” Sof mumbled, certain she was about to get stabbed. It was pitch black in there. How was she supposed to do her card tricks now?

“You can go in, Sofia.”

Maybe this was a scam. Yet she found herself plunging into the darkness regardless. She was fishing about in her pockets, looking for a makeshift weapon. Just in case. 

Without warning, the door slammed shut behind her. The room was left in total darkness. She couldn’t see even a couple steps ahead of her. Well, this certainly wasn’t an interview. That was for sure. 

She pulled her phone out, hesitantly switching on the flashlight. 

Oh that pissed her off. Her nose twitched, a growl rumbling from her throat. They really didn’t even turn a light on? “Ugh. Gross.” The floor was stained in some sort of purple colour. She didn’t know what it was but it was sticking to her flats. There were still clotted masses of it scattered about the concrete floor, too. “Ew.” They hadn’t even cleaned up.

She scanned the walls first, because that was people height. “If this is blood I’m gonna piss myself,” she grumbled, because she didn’t care about her manners in a room where the only other people (if any) were simply waiting to stab her. 

But that’s when she turned the torch down towards the floor again, the beam landing on a matter clump of purple fur.

She didn’t know what she was looking at, at first. 

It looked sort of like the amusement park’s mascot, but only if it had been stabbed and shot and bled out everywhere. “Oh lol? I hate it here,” she laughed anxiously.

What a rip off. This was a stupid prank, locking her in a store room. How long was this supposed to last? 

“Nice to meet you, mister manager,” she announced out loud, because if anyone was making fun of her she was gonna give them a show. “I can’t believe Blinky himself runs this theme park. That’s really talented of you considering you don’t even have thumbs. So I’ve actually come to take over.”

Nothing happened. No laughter or lights switching on, just her own voice reverberating against the concrete floor. One hell of an office. 

“Dude do you want me to lay down on the floor with you or some shit?” It was probably Danny in that suit there or something. “Real funny, gang. But good luck getting us out of here. And I want my twenty five bucks back for my ticket!” She kicked the heap of fur with her shoe. It was heavier than it should’ve been for what she assumed was an empty mascot suit. “William Afton vibes. Come on Danny, get out of there, this is a shitty joke.” She rolled her head back, clutching one hand to her aching forehead until something touched her foot. 

She instantly turned her flashlight to it to see more of the purple ink coming off of the suit, she stumbled back a step so it would stop pooling onto her. “Yuck!” 

It was sticky and thick, and when she touched the suit, it had started pouring out a little quicker. Sof took a step back again but it was already collecting and sticking to her shoes. 

Walking back through the ink felt like walking through a nightmare. She couldn’t see past her own nose in the dark and it stuck to her, not letting her pull her feet up to step and only causing her stress in her joints as she pulled at it. She wasn’t making any progress back towards the door. She genuinely felt like if she just opened her eyes she would be awake.

This was just getting absurd. She thumped a hand on the door. “Hey!” But no one answered. She couldn’t see anything through the window though anymore. “Aw, come on!” She jiggled the doorknob and rammed her shoulder up against it but it didn’t open. “Shit.”

She scanned through her contacts, deciding she didn’t really have many options but to call Deb for- did that thing just move? Just as she shifted her phone to raise it to her ear she swore the clump of fur shifted in the light.

She pressed up against the wall, any sort of joking or upset facade dropping at the idea that thing, whatever the hell it was, was alive. 

“Can’t believe they left the old managers fucking body in here,” she managed to groan, one hand rattling the door frantically. “Danny, this isn’t funny!”

She kept the beam on the heap, she could see it shifting, it was no trick of the eye. And it wasn’t in the way a suit would move, it was too finely articulated for somebody puppeting it from inside.

She fumbled at her phone, trying to keep the flash light focused on the Thing while she raced for Deb’s contact, in her shaky hands its form weaved heavily between the beam of light and the darkness. It’s movements were lumbering. She couldn’t keep it trained on It as it propped itself up on a hand, rolling onto its side so she could see it head on. 

It sat up, and she could see the roll of its muscles under its ragged fur, there was definitely something alive in that suit. 

And then it opened its humongous yellow eye, and stared right at her.

It had no mouth, but a deep voice echoed around the room in a pained moan as if to ask for help as it balanced itself where it sat in heaving, swaying movements like a dying animal.

Sof couldn’t move her fingers. She stared back, trying to form a sentence but unable to move her mouth. She wanted to push away, to get as much distance between it and her as she could but her body didn’t continue it’s resistance. 

She was just standing there. And it was staring. And she was staring back. 

“You.” A voice cut through the silence, her heart wasn’t even racing anymore. It was now calm and resting, slow and steady like she was stuck in a tractor beam of his vision.

And then everything was black.

———————————————————

Sof woke up sprawled out on the floor. Which was just about the norm, really.

“That was a weird fucking trip man, lol.” She rubbed her eyes with her numb hands, rolling onto her side. She curled up into her arm for a second to nurse her headache, using it as a pillow since she was certainly not in her bed. “Oouagh, yeah I gotta get up.” She braced herself for the slight head rush of sitting up, except it didn’t come. 

Her head was still in a bit of a haze so she didn’t worry when the first door she tried to open was locked, and she trudged to the other side of the room because she knew there was a door there that connected to the mirror maze. She opened it up, to find herself in the end of the maze, peering through a staff door. 

The lighting was posed purposely to be unsettling and disorientating, but it wasn’t what Sof needed after crashing. 

She stared down her own reflection in the closest mirror, feeling her head begin to unfog. “Oh, I’m still tripping,” she figured as she caught sight of the purple eye symbol that was taking up room on her forehead. That was not usually there.

She traced a hand around the pattern. It wasn’t a scar or a cut or any sort of paint. It didn’t hurt, it was just sort of there. “My third eye is open,” she commentated for herself, hitting it just to make sure it wasn’t a googly eye or something. “Oh lol that’d be funny.” Even though she was fairly sure it wasn’t, the idea was incredibly amusing to her. She tried to make a note of it just so she wouldn’t forget that when she was done with this vision.

Yeah. This was worth a phone call.

Her phone was left open from whenever she had last used it, and Deb’s number was open. 

She hit call, slapping her phone down on her chest and groaning as it rung. “Deb?”

“What? Didn’t get the job?” Deb started through a mouthful of a ham and cheese sandwich.

“Hey, girl? I think I’m god.” 

“Sof lay back down. You’re high,” Deb rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah that sounds about right,” Sof agreed, because what other explanation did she have? “I’ll call you back.”

And so she sat down right there on the floor of the mirror maze because she didn’t want to go back into the back office. 

She did however peer back into the dark though to note it was particularly empty and noticeably lacking in the corpse of Blinky. Well that couldn’t possibly add up to anything suspicious. 

And so she sat there for all of five minutes before ringing Deb back. “Hey are you eating a ham and cheese sandwich right now?” 

Deb snorted. “Yeah? Can I help you dude?” 

Sof rubbed her chin, studying her reflection in the mirror. The third eye was sort of a look. “Yeah well I can see you eating it. Did you ever mention you were because...?”

There was a pause. “What?” And Deb got off her chair to go check the curtains. “What do you mean?” And then to the front door. “Where are you? Was this Danny’s idea?”

She clicked her tongue, pretending to think despite the answer waiting for her in her head. “I’m not high. When did I smoke today? I think I’m god.” 

Deb snorted. “What do you mean? I’m gonna need some context. You sound awfully calm for a god. Where are you?” She checked the curtains again.

“Girl, I’ve ascended,” Sof tapped a hand to the sign on her forehead. “Put down your stupid sandwich and listen to me. I’m trapped in the Watcherworld mirror maze.”

“You are literally high.” Deb tossed her sandwich into the bin. “Follow the left wall, apparently that gets you out of a maze because you only follow one wall,” she explained. “Oh, because they’re squares.”

“No I know the way out, I can see it all in my head,” she could, it was just sitting there waiting in her mind. “I can see everything. Like. I’m watching it all. And your uggs look fucking dumb.” 

“That is so fucking mean. Where are you?” Deb scoffed. “Yeah, because you become a god and the first thing you do is make fun of my shoes,” she glanced down to examine them herself. “How did you become god?”

“Girl I’m telling you, I came here for this interview and this weird ass- oh my god, they’re called sniggles. Her name is sniglette, I know this now, and she said oh ‘wow you’re here for the job?’ And I said ‘for the interview,’ and then she locked me in a dark room and now I’m god, girl.” The information was pouring into her head in real time like someone was reading her the answers to a test. “Get it?”

“Delete this. What do you mean? How did that happen?” Deb had paused now to lean up against the wall, pressing a hand to her head. 

“Well you know how money laundering works?”

“No,” she raised a brow. “What?”

“Well I do because I’m god and so basically Watcherworld is like the god equivalent of money laundering. Yeah, I’m not surprised. Do you know how many people have died here? And the old boss died and apparently I signed up to inherit his cult, thoughts?” 

Deb paused, eyes wide in total exasperation. “I’m still lost on the money laundering thing. Where even are you?” 

“I have said it once and I’ll say it again. I’m stuck in the Watcherworld mirror maze, girl!”

Deb rubbed her forehead. “Call me back when you aren’t high.” 

“What the fuck, is that allowed?” She huffed as she hung up, feeling quite abandoned.

She got to her feet, walking out of the maze with ease like she had done it a thousand times before. 

The park was still remarkably empty except for a handful of Sniggles standing there staring at her. They were technically her responsibility now. 

“Blinky is back,” Sniglott said, dipping his head. 

At the mention of the name she knew everything she had to about him and what he was doing here. “Oh my god, I own an amusement park,” she gasped, her priorities in order. “Oh my god. Hey.” She dipped into her pockets to pull out her card set. “Wanna see a card trick? Pick a card,” she held it out to them. 

Curiously, Sniglette picked a card off the top of the deck. 

Sof already knew it was a seven of hearts because that was the card she had put there when she had last shuffled them, but she could see the card in her head, and it was still a seven of hearts. “Is it a seven of hearts?”

“Woahh!” All three sniggles gaped, staring at the card in awe. “You’re so cool!”

“Hah! Hey, do you guys want a raise? You can have it it’s all yours.” She patted Sniglette on the shoulder before striding off, the three sniggles following in tow.

“Huh? Really?” 

Sof nodded. They could totally have some money, it’s not like it was going into the theme park anyways. According to all of the information in her head a total of twenty five deaths had occurred here since the park’s opening. “Oh this place is totally violating OH&S,” she could instantly detect about seventy three faults across the park, thirteen of which were in the tear jerker alone. 

“Hey, you guys can shut it all down for the night and then go and get yourselves something to eat,” she instructed cooly to get into the role of a business owner. She spoke like she was telling them to keep the change and flipped her collar up, squaring her shoulders as she walked across what was now her property. 

“Something to eat?” Papa sniggle tilted his head, his antennae twitching. “But Sniglette cried when you died. We aren’t supposed to eat.”

“Aw, how sweet, he is dead though, so,” she held a hand to her heart and cast a look over her shoulder at the smaller sniggle, who gave a shy giggle as their eyes met. “Yeah you guys can help yourself though! I’ve always really wanted to try amusement park food but it’s always too expensive.” Nobody could stop her now though since she owned it, and she now knew it wasn’t a crime to eat the left overs if you owned the whole park. 

A tiny spark of fear still resided in her head at the possibility she could be high off her mind and just imagining it all, and that when she leant over the food truck counter to grab a bag of crisps that she was actually just eating out of the dumpster like a feral raccoon.

She sat herself down on top of one of the benches in the courtyard, tearing open the bag of chips. “What’re you guys getting?” 

Except they were all scavenging the food truck, snagging at whatever they could get frantically before scurrying off in their own ways into the darkness like rats. 

“Oh, okay gang, nice talk,” she shrugged, figuring her bag of crisps would have to make do since they had kitchen sink’d this food truck, and she could tell all the other Sniggles across the park were getting up to the same. Word spreads fast, apparently.

It was nice that she could see everything at once, though, she could tell the food trucks were empty without having to get up and search them top to bottom herself.   
Not that she could quite believe she was a god all of a sudden, but if she was high she’d be a lot hungrier than this. She didn’t really have an appetite at all, honestly.

She rubbed her forehead, brushing over the pattern of the eye again as she held her head in her hand. “I haven’t smoked anything today,” she knew that. She was at school and then she came to the interview. 

But come on, god? Nah. That was ridiculous. She had weighed up her two choices and being high was much easier to believe. 

She called Deb and watched as she thought about ignoring the call for a solid five to ten seconds before picking up. “What’s up?” 

“Hey, can you come and pick me up?” She requested. “I’m still here.”

“In the mirror maze?” 

“Nah I’m out of the mirror maze,” she confirmed, tapping her feet on the table’s metal seats to a rhythm. 

Deb pinched her forehead as she stood up to go fetch her keys. “Do you still think you’re god?” 

“Yeah, but it’s like eight thirty and I kinda wanna come home now anyways,” she confessed. “If you want we can argue on whether or not I’m god now if that’ll amuse you.” 

“And are you actually at Watcherworld?”

Sof held her phone out to the food cart that was still playing cheesy, over the top show tunes to match the park’s theme. 

“Alright but I’m bringing Danny along,” Deb warned, “and he’s gonna be pissed if you were smoking without him. I’ll be there in like half an hour.”

“Oh my god fun, I’ll let you in.” She hung up, hopping off the table top to go and socialise with her new sniggle acquaintances again.   
———————————————————

“I can’t believe Sof actually went to the interview. That’s totally wasting their time,” Danny had scowled from the passenger seat. 

He was not very happy upon hearing of her success.

“You’re only jealous because you still work at a 7/11,” Deb had quipped, although she wasn’t all that certain Sof had really gotten it. It all seemed like an elaborate joke. Perhaps she didn’t get the job and got high to deal with the disappointment or something. Although she had been sticking to this routine for quite a while, so Deb did have to admit she was a bit worried.

“Yeah whatever. Sofa is a dumbass anyways. Of course she didn’t get it.” He huffed his shoulders up to lean against the window, watching the scenery of the Witchwoods pass by. 

They were incredibly dark at this time of night, she could barely see past the the first row of trees before everything was indistinguishable. 

The witchwoods always frightened her for some reason. Anything could be happening in there.

“Can’t believe she got stoned without us. That is not very loyal to the smoke club,” he added just to fill in the silence as Deb scanned the parking lot. 

She assumed Sof would be waiting out the front, the park should be closed by now. Most of the lights were off except for the security lights. There wasn’t anyone working at the concession stand by the gate either. 

“Hey Danny can you call her?” Deb requested as she prowled her car through the lot. There were only a few scattered cars about, all of which looked like they had been there for a while. 

Leaf litter had collected on top of roofs and even some of them were too dusty to see through the windows like the owners had never returned. 

The whole place seemed abandoned at night, it was creepy.

Danny was just picking up his smashed phone when the lights above the gate flicked on, and there Sof was at the concession booth, waving them over and wearing a stupid novelty Blinky hat on her head. 

“Oh my god that is such a stupid fucking hat,” Danny clapped a hand to his mouth mournfully, putting his phone back down as Deb parked haphazardly in the closest spot she could to the gate, hopping out and pacing over.

“You did not get the job. Piss off. You better not be breaking and entering right now,” Deb pointed a finger. “What the hell is going on?”

“Welcome, my guests, two kids tickets?” She started off, one elbow propped up on the counter and a sly look on her face.

“Oh my god,” Danny groaned.

“Right this way, tickets are on the house,” she winked, hitting a button on her side of the table.

The turnstiles clicked and Deb grimaces.  
“Are we gonna get the cops called on us if we go in?” She asked as she pushed through. 

Sof shook her head. “No, I own the place!” 

Danny tried to push through too but the turnstile didn’t move. 

“Eer-“ Sof mimicked the sound of a buzzer. “No go. Cough up the ticket price. You were making fun of me on the car ride here, buddy.” She gave a firm shake of her head and Danny just scowled, jumping the turnstile. 

He crossed his arms. “No I wasn’t, I’m not always making fun of you.”

Sof appeared on the other side of the booth a few seconds later. “Ah, actually I believe your exact words were ‘I can’t believe Sof actually went to the interview, that’s totally wasting their time! Sofa is a dumbass anyways, of course she didn’t get it,’ so, care to explain?”

Deb could see Danny freeze for a second before turning to her and elbowing her. “What the hell? Did you tell her?” 

“What! No?” Deb was going to throw out a theory but in the darkness up ahead, she noticed a dark figure watching her, it’s eyes a glowing purple that pierced the darkness while the rest of it melted into the surrounding darkness. And as she whipped back around to point out the figure hiding in the shadows she caught sight of another, close enough to make out a silhouette, and that was definitely not human. It was perched atop the roller coaster tracks above them and staring down, shoulders tense and squared. 

She stumbled back a step, knocking into Danny as she saw yet another, sitting on a dining table only a couple yards away under the security lights. The purple eyes were not the most shocking this time- it had purple paws and feathery skin and sharp fangs were sticking out of its mouth, and it was watching her intently.

“What the fuck?” She swore, grabbing Danny’s arm just in case she had to pull him along for a quick get away.

“Oh!” Sof exclaimed rather nonchalantly, waving a hand. “They’re with me, gang!” Sof announced out loud. “They’re friends!” 

A handful of the shapes hesitated before vanishing back into the darkness, scaling up the rollercoaster scaffolding to sit up on the planks or disappearing into tents. They were about human sized but they moved looser and faster than a human should have. The one above them on the roller coaster stayed put though. 

“Sorry about those guys. They’re the sniggles. We’re buds and all but there a bit uptight about security,” she made a so-so gesture with a shake of her palm. 

“They were gonna chase us off?” Deb asked.

“Eat you, actually. Usually they aren’t fed,” she added, equally as nonchalantly as before. “I’m feeding them now though. So it’s cool. They’re happy!” 

“Eat us,” Deb repeated, staring right into Sof’s eyes for any hint she was playing around, one hand still wrapped around Danny’s arm iron tight. 

“Eat you. Yes. They hate trespassers. Cheaper then security though! But I did give them a raise. They’re now making twenty bucks an hour!” She beamed. “That’s more than you, Danny!” 

“Shut up!” Danny swung at Sof’s shoulder warningly, and the sniggle above them bared its teeth in warning. “Uh, those are not sniggles,” Danny added, head tilted back to stare at it. “I’ve been to Watcherworld before and they do not look like that. That’s a feral raccoon.”

“No! The sniggles are just the mascots, they only look like that at the daytime,” Sof shook her head. “Yeah, but at night time they uh, eat trespassers. It’s okay. I’m gonna get them to stop.”

“Someone please tell me what’s going on here,” Deb raised a brow, frozen to the spot, back slightly hunched to protect her head from the sniggle above her since it was in pouncing range. 

“Hah,” Danny laughed though. “So the mascots turn evil and hunt down intruders at night? That’s just like-“

“Five nights at Freddy’s!” Sof finished for him. “Literally, my thoughts exactly,” she nodded wisely.

“God, this is one hell of an elaborate joke,” Deb was getting anxious now, keeping her eyes fixed on whatever the hell sort of demon was perched above her. 

“Girl it’s not a prank!” Sof insisted. “I’m actually god. If I wasn’t god then how come I know what OH&S stands for now? And OSHA? Hm? And how come I know we’re violating every single one of their policies?” She crossed her arms, stretching her back to be level with her two taller friends.

“Oh man,” Danny ran his black nails through his mullet. “That’s kinda convincing. Since when would Sof study for a prank?” 

That much was true, and it was a little bit extreme to break and enter into a park after closing just for a joke, but becoming a god? Which she was still yet to explain? 

Being able to tell word for word what Danny had said in the car was unnerving though, but that could always be done through radios or walkie talkies. Or maybe Danny was in on it. Either way she was glad she kept her thoughts to herself. 

“Anyways did you know that some of the sniggles here used to be OH&S workers? Yeah. The old manager couldn’t be assed to fix any of the stuff around here but he couldn’t just shut it down because he kinda has a cult happening here? So he just turned them into sniggles.”

Deb’s jaw dropped. At this rate she was starting to consider if she was the high one. “Why didn’t I understand a single word that just came out of your mouth?”

“Fucked up, I know right?” Sof slapped a hand to her side before bringing her hands up to rest on her hips. “Tough being god. Although it’s probably way cooler to be a sniggle than an OH&S worker. Like,” she held out her palms to count them on her fingers. “They can hang out with me, they can hang out with their buddies, they can ride the rides and eat the food for free and to top it off they get to sing a funky little song every day! And what the hell do OH&S workers do? Stop someone from falling off a ladder?” She scoffed and shook her head. “Tricky to say. Weigh out your options, buddy.” 

“You are skimming right by the god thing. Why are you god? What are we doing here?” Deb questioned, and Sof was about to answer when the sniggle above her caught a bird out of the air with its teeth and swallowed it in one gulp. “Excuse me!?”

“Ohh, here, come with me, to my office.” She held out an arm to gesture them along with her, giving a dramatic dip of her head like she was a butler carrying their luggage or something. 

Deb wasn’t comfortable travelling any further into the darkness, and Danny’s mumbling wasn’t helping, though what she was most angry about was how vague Sof was being. “Can you just explain?” She snapped, her temper suddenly a lot shorter than usual. She was used to being patient with her dumb friends, but Sof was dragging them into danger and she wasn’t going to let that happen without a solid explanation.

“Oh, well. So. You know Blinky? The mascot?” She pointed at one of the many Blinky’s in the area they were passing through, this one in the form of a stone statue that Deb was certain had a camera for an eye. “Well, he was like, the corporeal vessel for a god, are you following?”

“Wow ‘corporeal vessel.’ Learn that one in English too?” Deb huffed, wishing she would cut the smart talk. 

“No, I learnt it from being a god, actually. So essentially the spirit of this evil god possesses the suit and-“

“Oh so there’s an evil spirit in the suit of the mascot?”

“The spirit of a god,” Sof amended his statement. “A god.”

“But a spirit, right?” He was starting to grin.

“Danny, stop it,” she scolded without even turning around, and Deb heard Danny’s jaw shut again behind her. “If you make another five nights at freddy’s joke-“

“I wasn’t going to!” Danny jumped to defend himself. 

“I’m god I can literally see everything! I know what you were gonna say!” She exclaimed, swinging her arms out and almost thwacking Deb. 

“No you aren’t! You can’t prove anything!” Danny spat back. “I’m right about the Freddy thing though,” he mumbled angrily to himself. “So, maybe get off my back.” 

“Shut up, guys,” Deb didn’t need any attention drawn to them.

She could hear things scuffling besides them in the darkness, kicking up leaves and discarded popcorn cups left over from park goers just out of her sight As they dashed past on all fours like rabid creatures to keep up with Sof. 

“I’ve been here once, when I was younger,” Danny started, his fingers playing anxiously with one of his piercings. “And the sniggles were people. I saw their show, they were human.”

“Only in the day time,” Sof corrected him. “Nice show though, right?”

“No, it sucked ass. I didn’t get it one bit, and I was fifteen,” he scoffed in distaste at the memory and it made Sof stop in her tracks, pointing a demeaning, accusing finger at him. 

“They work very hard on those shows, Danny. They practice all day long for that the least you could do is tell them they’ve done a good job,” she had halted just to explain. “They pour their little sniggle hearts into making their audiences laugh okay? D’you get it?” 

“Jeez! Guys, come on, don’t just stop we have to keep moving.” Deb was certain that at any moment a security guard was going to rock up and call the police, and she wasn’t going to lay about and let it happen.

“You’re ungrateful, Daniel,” she just said as they continued.

“Oh screw you, Sofa.” Although Danny was checking over his shoulder now at the shape watching them from atop a stationary roller coaster cart. 

Sof didn’t use any keys to remove the padlock to the building she had lead them too although she wasn’t sure how she got it open without them. “Ta-dah!” She swung open the door, flicking on a light switch. “So this is my new office.”

“Office,” Deb pursed her lips shut at the store room. 

There wasn’t any furniture besides a desk pushed up against the side wall and a couple of old boxes. Not to mention the floor was stained with some sort of mysterious purple ink. 

“What is this?” Danny asked, getting down to put his hand in one of the puddles.

“Oh that’s blood,” Sof answered just in time for him to yank his hand back. “From the old manager. You remember, the one who was murdered? You guys will not believe who he was murdered by! It was literally Alice. Remember when she came to watcherworld with her dad? The night we had the party at your aunt’s place?”

“Oh come on. Cut it out,” Deb shook her head. “Seriously, what is happening here? Why are you god all of a sudden? Why do you keep saying that?” Yeah, because Alice totally couldn’t come to the party because she was out hunting down the local amusement park owner. She was not a murderer! 

“Okay well listen, the old manager was Blinky himself, the mascot, didn’t I establish that? She didn’t kill a real human person, just a doll. It was totally fine,” she went to brush it off again like the topic was over but Deb grabbed her arm, her face screwed up with frustration.

“Can you stop being cryptic? What is the deal?” 

“Oh calm down! You aren’t really angry, it’s just a byproduct of being within 50 feet of me. Sorry about that. Another fun little thing I inherited.” She pushed Deb off despite how desperate she clearly was for answers here, but using both of her hands she removed that dumb oversized Blinky hat she had been wearing the whole time, revealing the white and purple pattern of an eye on her forehead. “Could I be a mere mortal if I had this?” 

“A drawing of an eye on your forehead?” Danny’s jaw dropped. “Sorry. Is that what we’re here for?” 

“It’s not a drawing!” She snapped. “I got it when I became god, and I can’t get it off, so I’ve been wearing this hat to cover it.” With that, she dropped it back on her head, adjusting it to cover the markings. 

“This is so fake,” Deb stammered, although she had just seen an feral alien eat a bird right out of the air five minutes ago so she was sort of short on proof. She was trying to get mad but that dumb hat was so stupid that she couldn’t look away from it. 

“I mean definitely made the ticket price worth it. Considering I can see everything now, lol. Also, I cry purple now too wanna see!” She held her hands to her eyes preemptively but Danny swatted them away. 

“Gross! No! Dude, this is so weird. If you can see everything then what grade did I get back on my English essay?” He posed the question skeptically. 

“Trick question, actually,” she said with a hand to her forehead, her eyes rolled back in thought. “You didn’t actually submit an essay at all. So zero.”

“Okay no, that was too obvious. Think of something, Deb,” he elbowed her.

“Don’t elbow me,” she elbowed him back. “What colour socks am I wearing?” 

“Uh purple on your right and orange on your left,” she answered thoughtfully. 

Sof was correct. “No you’re too calm to be a god! How do you just become a god?” Deb tried again, frantic. 

“Look, I came here for the interview, I saw Blinky, I passed out and I woke up with endless knowledge in my head including the knowledge of how that knowledge got there so I’m pretty chill! What part did you miss?” She squinted, leaning in like perhaps she was mishearing her. “Like, wanna see me guess your card or something?” She offered, whipping her deck out of her pocket and proffering it. 

Danny and Deb exchanged looks, but neither of them took the cards.

“Eh,” Sof began to shuffle them. “It’s all a bit mundane now that I know everything, to be honest. But things are kept a bit spicy by the fact that I’m filled with unfiltered, unadulterated rage now, hah,” she stuck her tongue out, biting down on it. “Crazy! Def wasn’t expecting that one though lol. I mean while I’m on that topic I can also make other people angry, and Danny has been pissing me off a bunch since he got here so like.” 

Deb didn’t know if she finished speaking. Her sentence was only followed by Deb’s skull filling up with a blinding rage like a fever. She lost track of Sof in her peripheral vision and without giving her body permission she lunged at Danny, knocking him to the floor. She followed him down to wrap her hands around his neck, her thumbs pushing down on his trachea as he squirmed beneath her, making a futile attempt with a scrabble of his legs to kick her off him and she retorted by stomping one of her feet down on his foot. 

And then just like that, the heat seemed to dissipate from her skin and she was met with a cool breeze once more as she pulled back from Danny, flopping down on the floor besides him and rubbing her fists.

“Yeah, so that’s essentially why you shouldn’t make fun of me anymore,” Sof explained, squatting down besides the two of them.

Danny was too busy gasping for breath like a fish out of water to fire anything back or attempt to attack either one of them. 

“I can like, channel the endless amounts of rage inside of me into other people. Yeah. Like floodgates,” she was smiling like she was quite proud of that.

“Shit!” Deb was panting too. There wasn’t much room left for doubt. “Well can you at least give me some warning next time?” She dragged her hands through her hair as if to wash them of her crime. “That was really violating!”

“Yeah! How would you like it if I choked you?” Danny finally manage to gasp, rubbing his throat and licking spit off his lips. 

“Ah well I mean, go ahead dude I’m god do you really think I can die?” She stood back up, one hand on her hip but she extended the other to Deb to help her to her feet. 

“How do you think you got the job, asshole?” Deb huffed as the two of them helped Danny stand again. 

“Yeah I thought this was blood. Like dead body blood. As in. Somebody died because they were killed.” He made a flailing gesture to the floor around him, his other palm to his face to control his headache. 

“Yeah but he was like shot in the eye or whatever, it’s fine, it’s fine I think I’m good like I fell over when I was walking out to the car park and I didn’t even graze my knee so.” She balanced on one leg so she could lift the other up to show off her graze-less knee. “Do you wanna go throw me off the roller coaster?” She gestured over her shoulder excitedly, bracing herself to run its way. Because that was the next logical step.

Danny and Deb exchanged looks, he was already grinning. So Deb took that as a yes, and without having to say a word the three of them made a mad dash for the tear jerker roller coaster. 

“Come on! There’s a staircase around this side that takes you to the top of the tracks!” She elaborated as they ran.

Deb made sure not to lose track of Sof in the darkness. She was afraid if she was separated from her for a minute that the sniggles would rip her into chunks for their dinner. They looked suspiciously hungry. 

She let Sof scale up the ladder first, and she followed quickly after. If they were hungry enough to chase they’d eat Danny first and she was fine with that.

“So you’re really invincible?” Deb asked through deep breaths in.

“Well I’m yet to see evidence I’m not!” 

“Sounds solid enough to me!”

Even up on the ladder she could hear the sniggles, some of them were still perched up on the railway tracks like gargoyles, chewing on carnival food or sharing mice or birds between them.

One of them let out a bat like screech and flapped it’s wings to hop off the track like it was expecting one of the carts to start up. 

“It’s okay, gang!” Sof called out to the few that had scattered. “We’re coming up to hang out with you!” She found a place to balance on top of the tracks, shuffling up them to let Deb and Danny up.

Danny was chuckling under his breath to himself, gripping onto the top of the ladder so the wind didn’t carry him off the tracks too.

Sof held onto Deb’s shoulder so that she didn’t fall before she could position herself in the middle of the tracks.

“Are you gonna jump?” Danny asked, a slight, excited jive to his movements. 

“Boo, nah, throw me, man!” Sof held out her arms for the two of them to grab. “I’ll like,” she reassumed her position quickly to balance herself as she leant over the edge. “Dive down and I’ll land right at the bottom in that tree, because I don’t wanna land on the concrete.” 

“Oh good, good, clever,” Deb agreed. “And we’ll come down and get you afterwards.”

Danny nodded to agree with a chuckle, grabbing Sof’s arm as she outstretched it again. 

Deb laughed with them, it was a nice outlet for the slight waves of anger that kept building up in her too due to her proximity to The Anger God. She took Sof’s other arm, her other slipping under her leg so they could carry her between the two of them. 

“Throw me on three!” She exclaimed, a sort of anxious but not quite laugh slipping out between words. 

“Okay!” They began to swing her to gather some momentum, careful not to lose their precarious balance. 

“One...two... three!” They all said together, and Deb and Danny gave one last heave before releasing her from their grip with a laugh as she fell down, falling a lot faster than Deb assumed but she supposed being a god had nothing to do with velocity. 

“Haha! She’s doing it!” Danny leant over the edge, gripping the security rail tightly. 

His call alerted the Sniggles though, who, took one first look at them before letting out a screech and beating their wings, jumping off the tracks to dart swiftly after Sof. 

“Oh my god are they gonna eat her?” Deb stammered, her grip tight on Danny’s shoulder. 

She watched one of them catch the collar of her shirt with its talons, but it didn’t even slow her down until three more came to catch her fall in a frantic race, stopping her just before she could hit the cement, the four of them letting out their little panicked screeches and crowding around her.

“Oh my god, let’s go!” The two of them ushered each other back down the ladder to book it to her side, Danny dropped down once he was still a few rungs from the ground and Deb picked up her pace, hitting the floor and scrambling after her taller friend’s bounds. 

“Ah!” Sof let out a sound just to ensure them she was still alive. “It’s okay! I’m alive!”

Danny burst out laughing. “Oh my god! So you’re invincible!? Do you wanna do it again!?”

Deb doubled over, slapping a hand onto a Danny’s back just to anchor herself. “Are you okay?” 

“Woahohoha,” Sof shook her head, laying flat down on the ground now that the sniggles had released her. “I am not invincible,” she reported, which made Deb’s head jerk up to ensure her friend hadn’t broken both of her legs. “So these guys?” She waved a hand weakly at the Sniggles crouched over her. “They say I still have a mortal form, and if I had hit the ground and died I would’ve died but the spirit of the god wouldn’t,” she was panting, still probably a little unaware of the danger since she was managing a grin. “If I died I think Deb would just become god next,” she added breathily, taking a moment to catch her breath.

“Aw what? Why not me?” Danny questioned.

“Because the spirit will reside in my body until it finds a new suitor. And I would simply choose Deb over you,” she teased. “It’s like a zombie.” 

“Wow,” was all Deb could say, still working on processing the fact they almost threw Sof off a roller coaster just because she hadn’t grazed her knee. She was going to stop taking the god thing for granted just because she was god - because she was also Sof.

“Well where were these guys when their old boss was shot down huh?” Danny questioned.

“Oh they let him get hit. He didn’t feed them so they did not care if he went down,” she whistled. Finally sitting back up. “I mean, I’d say he should’ve fed them regardless but who am I to tell an inter dimensional, eldritch being how to do their job?” 

“Oh my god,” Deb grabbed her throat, rubbing her thumbs across it to remind herself to keep breathing. Imagine being an all seeing god and still being this fucking dumb. 

She stood up, dusting herself down. “Thanks, gang, you really saved me there. Why don’t you guys go get some rest?” She suggested, and with a happy flap of their wings the four of them swooped off to wherever it was their sniggle beds lay. 

“Yeah. Let’s go home gang,” Danny finally suggested and Deb nodded.

“Yeah, you can come back and be god again at 8AM in the morning. Hope you enjoy that,” Deb elbowed her buddy as they made the trek back to her car, exhausted. “Please don’t try that again.”

“Oh trust me, I won’t now that I know I can die- don’t like that,” she shook her head. 

Danny jumped the turnstile again, trudging over to Deb’s car. Probably a little more worn out than the other two after almost being choked. 

Sof let out an excited cheer at the sight, getting a running start to try and jump the gate, but as she planted her hands down to make the leap something struck her mid air and she fell back down. “Ouch!” She yelled out, clasping a hand to her head which she had just smacked into the concrete. 

“Hahah!” Danny jeered, still leant up against Deb’s car.

“Come on,” Deb hauled Sof up by the arm, rubbing her eyes. “Let’s go.” 

“Yeah, I’m trying to,” Sof snapped, pushing against the turn stile. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean?” She stepped out of the way and Deb moved through the turnstile without a problem. 

Sof tried again, confused, but she couldn’t push past it. “Am I doing it wrong?” She opened up the door to the concession booth to bypass the gate, but the exit door to the carpark wasn’t opening either. 

“Jeez. Stop messing around.” Deb opened the door for her, but when she tried to walk out the invincible force slammed up against her again like a wall. 

“Uh, so, interesting fact. This news just in,” she tapped a hand to her forehead. “I am physically bound to Watcherworld now that the spirit of Bliklotep is inside me.” 

“Oh is that the uh, angry god?” Danny asked, his voice significantly quiet in the distance, so he paced back over.

“Yeah, so uh. Oops.”

“Oops?” Deb repeated, almost nonplussed at this point. “You are literally trapped in Watcherworld and you’re gonna say ‘oops?’”

“Oh, it’s okay I’m not spiritually bound to it though, I can leave through the black and white I’m being told. Although there isn’t much info on what that is so, scary,” she grimaced. 

“Uh!” For all Deb knew, that could be god code for ‘literally dying.’ 

“But hey, it’s fine, I mean free rent right?”

“No you own a property now like, you still have to pay for everything. It doesn’t just magically appear!” Deb spluttered. Did she not have enough god power to understand societal basics?!

“Oh boo, what’re they gonna do? Evict me? Because I would just like to remind you-“ she slammed herself into the invisible wall again, hard enough that she had to stumble back. “It’s okay I was planning on moving out anyways lol.”

“Where are you gonna sleep?” Danny argued, as if that would make her any less bound to the theme park. 

“Oh I’ll just go curl up wherever the sniggles sleep!” She shrugged. “It’ll be like a little wild cat colony and we’ll all huddle for warmth, it’ll be fun. Just like camping!”

“We have two very different experiences with camping,” Deb murmured under her breath in concern. “So what now?”

“Here,” Sof removed her novelty Blinky hat, trying to pass it through the wall but finding her hand didn’t make it all the way through. “Shit.” She tossed it instead, and it landed several feet behind Deb in the dirt which probably wasn’t as ceremonial as she had planned it to be. “Take this and remember me by it. Never forget me, smoke club,” she held a hand to her heart like it was heavy with grief. “I’ll never forget you, mostly because I can see your every move.”

“Oh my god. Don’t be dramatic,” Deb ruffled a hand through her messy hair as she turned to head back to her car, Danny had collected her hat and was wearing it now himself. “We’ll be back here tomorrow.” 

———————————————————

The Black and White was not all that hard to reach. Not because she had any help or anything, just because she was god. 

Inheriting the powers to see everything came with a funky little vision of what she had taken to calling her ‘God Schedule.’ 

Tonight, fortunately for her, because being filled with anger made her rather impatient, there seemed to be a meeting. A god meeting. 

It wasn’t that she expected there to be a little round table with a bunch of teddy bears sitting in office chairs having an important discussion about fluffy animals and candy and everything sweet, but it sorta sucked to find that the other gods were choosing to present themselves in gargantuas forms so big she could barely make them out in the darkness. There wasn’t even a cute little business table, they were all sorta just standing there. 

She couldn’t believe Alice killed the only fun one. 

The only light really being provided was from one of their sets of glowing eyes and a dull blue light somewhere in the darkness that only illuminated itself, really. 

“Aww, boo. You guys suck,” she frowned, at least to the ones she could make eye contact with. She didn’t have much info on them in her head, it seemed her fellow gods got to keep their privacy from one another. “I thought you guys were gonna be like, amusement park mascots too. What the hell is this?”

She had no clue what they were thinking, but it was probably that she was in fact not Blinky. 

“I mean, I didn’t think I was coming to lunch with the fruit loops bird but like. I’m a bit disappointed. Why are you guys so big?”

One of the bigger ones, Wiggly, managed to lean his head down to examine her. 

“Hi to you too, pal. So is this like a board meeting? Are we allowed to throw suggestions out?” Damn. Everyone was being so silent. So she took it as her cue to continue talking. “Because actually I’ve been thinking of creating a sniggle union. Do we all have sniggles? Wiggly? I hear you do. Why don’t they have workers rights that’s literally illegal.”  
Not that anyone could arrest him she supposed. Not that that would stop her from taking him on herself. “Blinky didn’t even feed his sniggles and look what happened to him, hm?” She shrugged, gesturing around her to imply that she was only standing here because he wasn’t feeding them, and not that he was murderer. “Not cool, campers.” She shoved her hands into her pockets, her fingers brushing over her cards which were still there. 

Still radio silence from the group. This was so boring. She hated adults. And business meetings. “Seriously? I thought this was a hang out or do all you guys do is sit in silence?” She huffed, definitely feeling the deep anger inside of her breath the walls for a second. “Look, Blinky‘s corporeal form died! The position was vacant so here I am! Are you not happy to see me?”

Finally, one of the smaller of the four stepped forward. He took the form of a yellow goat standing on his hind legs, his face was crooked and his eyes bulged uncomfortably from his skull which was notably lacking in flesh. And then he held out a hoof.

She shook it, dipping her head. “Thank you! Finally! Tinky, right?” She finished shaking his hoof and he stumbled shakily back on his skinny goat legs into the shadows. 

If he were to mistreat any Sniggles she would simply sweep him and he would be done with. 

More interestingly though was that he didn’t seem to have thumbs. 

Very interesting. 

She glanced around at what she could make out of the others, noticing Wiggly had a slop of tentacles for hands, and if the others weren’t going to make themselves clear in the darkness, well, they didn’t matter.

Slowly, she slipped her hands back into her pockets, pulling out her deck of cards. “You guys wanna see some card tricks?”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man


End file.
